Day 1 - The before photo (Chicago to Nebraska)

"The before photo"

Touring is a battle to keep your habits. I go into it knowing I will fail, but still… I try.

The last 2 months have been crazy busy with band duties: mixing new songs, a trip to Colombia, a local show, preparing for this West Coast tour we are now on, all while working my nine to five and being there for those who need me.

What people see is the stage. What people hear is the music. That’s only about 10%. The real iceberg lies underneath. It is mammoth. 

Coordinating 5 people’s schedules. Mapping out itineraries and logistics. Advancing with venues and promoters. Accommodating requests. Making sure the van is in top shape, projecting and ordering merchandise, and my least favorite…social media. 

I’ve been all in for three months now. My self-care has gone out the window. I haven’t properly practiced my instrument, I've been half as productive with writing, I haven't meditated in weeks. My diet has been insufficient in protein, and after Colombia, I got a bit sick and haven't been able to exercise. And on and on.

Not like me at all. Except I’m trying to think of my life and my year in seasons… and right now it’s band season. Rest is looking like mid November.

But still… I woke up at 5 am today so that before we started our 10 hour drive, I could do my back stretches. That’s one notch back n the winning column. Tomorrow I’ll go for that + meditation. Hopefully.

We just drove ten hours to a Best Western in Central Nebraska. Tomorrow is another 7 to get to Colorado. 

I turn forty on the last day of this tour. Naturally, I've been very reflective of what my true calling is, where have i steered wrong, where have I veered right… I found myself thinking less of myself during the summer because I let the comparison game take over. I was devastated that I had no 10K hours put into something remunerable like learning to code, to fix cars, to play the piano, something! 

But… 

I did just put five people’s lives and schedules together, art directed new designs, recorded music that a humble couple of thousands will listen to, executed an international trip, projected sales, expenses and gross earnings of a tour and made decisions based on those. I am an expert at this… I'm in the 10K plus plus club. 

For better or worse.