Points of failure: Be astute.

Recently, I found myself reverting to an old habit:

Reacting emotionally during unfavorable situations.

On the surface, I strive to remain calm and poised, and for the most part I think I succeed. I can't deny, however, that stoic as I may aspire to be, a hot-headed Latino also lives inside me.

I can point to two examples from this month:

At work, where I've been for almost a decade, I've been able to tour and travel home to see my family at a moment's notice. Now, there are new owners and new formalities in place that make traveling freely more restrictive.

I had to meet with HR:

"But I've always done this," I told them, upset. I found myself getting even more heated on various occasions when recounting the experience to colleagues.

Offended, I went through different stages of woe-is-me:

• I don't deserve this.

• After everything I've done here?

• Haven't I earned the right to do things my way?

None of which helped change the outcome. All of which cost me peace of mind.

Later in the month it happened again while working on a creative project. A collaborator was behaving in a way I felt was uncooperative toward my creative direction.

"Dude, can you just play ball?" I found myself losing patience after a few back-and-forths.

In the midst of both situations I could see how I have a tendency to create stories in my head where things escalate into doomsday scenarios: The red button gets pushed. Total annihilation ensues. I would later journal about it and realize I was being irrational. I asked myself why I get so bent out of shape during disagreements.

Should I blame it on my dad?

Throughout my life I've watched him quit jobs out of pride, get into arguments with uncles, choose to be stubborn over admitting he's wrong. Once I reached an age where I could see that for what it was, someone working against his own best interest by reacting in the heat of the moment, I've tried to check myself on it.

And still… I fail.

I fail at it even though I know in advance that I cannot impose my will on people or the world at large, and so I shouldn't waste energy getting heated about it.

Ironically, on one of the days I had to go into the office, I introduced myself to a new hire. We had a brief exchange in which I showed him a workaround for a nagging workplace issue.

"That's very astute," he told me, and there I found my answer.

To find the workaround, that's the solution. To take in situations with calm. To let cards fall where they may, and only then decide which hand to play. It's not manipulation, it’s learning to deploy energy effectively towards the goal.

There's more wisdom in being clever than in appearing to be right.

In the end, I managed to strike an agreement with HR that allows me to continue with my plans. I also carried out the creative vision I wanted for the project. There were compromises along the way, but I should've expected those.

Now I have a sticky note on my laptop that I'm forced to look at every day. It’s there to remind me to not react, but instead to pause, and respond with the action that moves me closer to my goals.

It's unavoidable; black sharpie on bright pink paper: "Be Astute.”